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Knowing Your Values Can Change Your Life!

Cathy Fyffe

One of the most important things we can do to live a fulfilling life is to live our lives according to our own values. Not the value of others or what we think others want us to value, but what we truly value as individuals.

So what are values?

Values are the principles or standards by which we live our life.  They are also the things we hold most dear or are most important to us.

I’m not talking about values like honesty, integrity, loyalty – societal values. Today I am focussing on the things you value as an individual. Every one of you has a different set of values and they are part of what makes you unique.

When you live life according to your own values – then your life reflects who you are and everything around you flows. In contrast, when you are living out of alignment with your values you may feel out of sorts a lot of the time, or you may develop addictions or depression.

If you are living your life according to someone else’s values, then you are limiting your ability to love yourself and others ability to love the real you.

When you know your highest values decision making becomes simple!

When you know your highest values decision making becomes simple – your choices about how you act and what you prioritise becomes clear. That’s not to say the choices you make are easy as we know living in alignment with our values can mean we have to make some hard decisions, but the choice is simple when we make the choice in alignment with what we value.

When you are certain and clear about what you most value, then you are able to communicate that to those you love.  This helps to build understanding about who you are and what’s important to you.  It can help you determine your boundaries as you are clear about what actions and behaviours are consistent with your values.

As you make choices in your life in alignment with your values, your life becomes a reflection of what you hold most dear.

I know what it feels like to think that I’m not valued or loved as an individual!

For the things that are dear to me to be belittled by others.  I know how it feels to make choices based on my perceptions of what others think and the pain of allowing them to unduly influence my life. I wasn’t living in alignment with my values.

It wasn’t until my life reached a point where I was truly miserable because I was denying a part of myself that I finally took a stand for what I valued.

I’ve always had a strong interest in Personal Development and self-growth which I denied for many years because I knew it upset my husband and he thought it was “hippy rubbish”. He was fearful of what I might learn and would put down my desire to understand myself better.  He would say “what are you searching for – you’re never going to find it – why can’t you be happy with the life you have?”

I finally got to the point where I realised that I could no longer live my life according to his values.  That I needed to live my life according to the things that I most valued.  My hubby didn’t want to hear that, and it was nearly a deal breaker in our marriage.  With him saying “I didn’t sign up for that.”

The values exercise I lead my clients through as a women’s life and relationship coach is about connecting them to the things that are important to them – to their passions and interests, to the way they want to live and be in the world.

Your life is a reflection of what you value

Your life is already a reflection of many of the things you value.  If you value your appearance for example, you’ll be happy to spend money on expensive clothes, shoes and a good hairdresser.  Whereas if appearance isn’t that important to you and you value being outdoors, you might spend your time bushwalking or planning trips to the bush or heading down the beach.  The choices you make about how you spend your money, your time and what you think about, all reflect your values.

When you’re clear about what you value, you can then make choices that reflect your values rather than someone else’s.

Knowing our values is so important and knowing the hierarchy of them is also hugely important.  What I mean by that is knowing which of our values are more important than others. For example, two of my highest values are security and freedom.  I know however, that security is a higher value for me.  It’s only when I feel secure, that I feel free – free to make the choices I want, to travel, to have flexibility in my work hours and enjoy my freedom.  Can you imagine how my choices would be different if freedom was a higher value for me than security?

As a Life and Relationship Coach, guiding women through a process to know and understand their own unique set of values is one of the services I offer.  Many women talk about how life changing it is and how knowing their values allows them to make better choices as they create a life and relationship they love. Often the values that come out of the process are not what the woman I am working with assume will be their values.  Once they see the result of the process, they are surprised at how accurately the process I take them through has identified their true values.

If you would love to know what it is, you truly value please get in touch with me.

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